Virginity

PARROT 

WRITTEN BY ISAAC ODUGBEMI

Virginity

What comes to mind when the word virginity is mentioned is oftentimes a subject matter of no-go-area. I think it is a subject not many want to appraise as a point of imperative discussion. From time immemorial a woman’s virginity has been her prized possession. It is her pride and symbol of integrity not just to herself only but a representation of honour to her family, friends, society and the man who finally pays her bride price to make her a wife. Throughout history one will read about cultures across the world placing a high value on a woman’s virginity. During the youthful years of my mother and grandmother, virginity was a priceless jewel to be valued and the one who breaks the knot is not a boyfriend, manfriend, sugardaddy but a husband; the man who had passed through the examination of following the due process of acquiring her through her family’s terms and condition. No matter how the body is doing, the glory of the later is better than the beginning.

 I do not want to believe that the older generation who kept themselves from sexual defilement dropped from heaven. They were given birth to like every one of us. From the plot of The Lion and the Jewel by Wole Soyinka, the importance of bride price is conspicuous in the Yoruba society and in Africa as a well cultured society. Sidi’s consciousness of future security regarding the Yoruba tradition of price of the pride is clearly visible in her conversation with Lakunle (her suitor) in the first act, Morning she said,

“I have told you, and I say it again I shall marry you today, next week Or any day you name. But my bride price must first be paid. Aha, now you turn away. But I tell you, Lakunle, I must have the full bride-price. Will you make me a laughing-stock? Well, do as you please. But Sidi will not make herself a cheap bowl for the village spit.” (P. 7)

Anticipation is great. To be honest, I wonder what is the problem with waiting, why we think everything has to be so fast. And today we have Fast food, fast tan, fast money and fast sex. Everything is now fast. I believe that sex is an incredibly strong symbol of love between two people. In the words of Phin Lyman, one should think of sex as glue. Once you have had a sexual intercourse with someone, you are connected to them emotionally and physically. And if you tear that bond the rip leaves open scars where the glue once was. There is royalty in waiting and that is why "casual sex" never works in the long term, it just does not. I believe it is best to only enter a sexual relationship on the marriage bed, not dating and not courtship. And you would be happy marrying and, contrary to what many young adults and teenagers believe, you can have a relationship without sex, and a very good one at that.

It is not too critical to agree that Dare's marriage may lead to divorce soon. He met a lady and got engaged with her after a long time of friendship and relationship. According to his story, he was told by the lady that she was a virgin. Dare desired a lady who can be trusted while going on his business trips. And being a good man of integrity he believed her without trying to cunningly verify. He actually got married to her because he felt she was pure and innocent and that was his definition of a lady worth marrying. He thought that marrying a virgin will make a faithful marriage life.  But times are really changing fast and for an increasing number of young men and women, sex is no longer the kind of taboo that it earlier used to be. What the older generation saw as a taboo is what this generation sees as enjoyment.

The question is who is to blame, the parents, the religious houses, the lady, the social media or the society, who is to blame? If this question is directed at me I would like to dip my hand down to the bottom of the pot so as to eat the fattest snail according to the words of the Nobel laureate that we need to get down to the root of the matter. Everyone knows right from wrong and the concept of what is wrong or what is right is a matter of knowledge, exposure and integrity.  The bitter truth is that no one keeps a man via sex rather you lose value. Therefore permit me to conclude this tête-à-tête by saying,  I have set before you a better life in waiting and the impatient life of a temporal enjoyment, peace and pieces, happiness and break heart therefore choose peace that both you and your partner may live a better life.   

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